#11 Girl Master
I need to do a poo.
I seriously need to do a poo.
Go now.
I've turned many idols into top stars. I'm a living legend among managers.
I'm on a different level compared to ordinary managers or producers out there.
I've studied girls' psychology for years,
and become the first man in Japan to get a PhD in Girls' Studies.
I'm the Girl Master! I know everything about how girls think and feel.
There's not a girl out there I can't manipulate
with my comprehensive knowledge!
Or so I thought.
Thanks for waiting.
My anus is destroyed from constipation and hemorrhoids.
Drinking helps soften my poo and makes it easier to squeeze out,
but in the end, it makes my hemorrhoids worse.
What a dilemma.
I... don't have knowledge of this.
What do you think?
What do I think? I don't know.
Never mind. So, what is this interview for?
Oh, that's right.
Well, I don't know much about you girls yet...
Still, they're just girls.
...so we should chat so I can get to know you better.
We can talk about anything, like your activities and private life.
I'll hear you out.
I'll show her my ability as a counseling specialist!
Well, I'm the type of person who can only sleep on my stomach.
But it's been really hard to do it since my boobs got this big.
What should I do?
I don't have knowledge of this, either!
They got bigger recently?
Yeah, right. The surgery was done last year, so that's pretty recent.
Did you undergo surgery?
Of course! This firmness can't be natural.
Ah, and another thing. Women have beautiful bodies, right?
Well... yeah.
So, looking at my naked body sometimes gets me sexually excited.
But that's natural, right?
What? Does this happen with all women? I don't have knowledge of this, either!
And then?
But since I don't have a dick, it feels so weird between my legs.
What do you think I should do?
How can I answer that?
Hey.
Are you listening?
Come on, give me some advice.
I think you should ask a doctor about that kind of stuff.
Then what's the point of this interview?
I couldn't give her any advice. I've never felt this humiliated before.
Were my many years of research worthless?
No! She's the weird one!
She must be some sort of mutant! It's not my fault!
Nothing is wrong with my knowledge!
Shut up!
Who's there?
Aily?
Aily... what are you doing here?
Huh? What are you looking at?
This is a chance to restore my pride!
Did anything happen to you? You can tell me.
Give me my dick back!
Give her... her penis back? What does that actually mean?
Kinoshita has decided to start his girl research all over again.
DIPLOMA, MANDARIN KINOSHITA
"GANG GIRLS" AUDITION ROOM #12 Stars of the Screen
We're the GOKUDOLS! Thank you for giving us this opportunity!
Jeez, idols again?
Will you stop asking me to come to the auditions for supporting parts?
I don't care who plays those parts.
But these girls are pretty popular in Akihabara.
Whatever. I bet they've never acted before.
What's wrong with him? We're here, right in front of him!
Um... We'll do our best.
Yeah, sure. Everyone says the same thing.
But the problem is nobody knows how to do it the right way.
Idols are always desperate to look cute. This is not a movie for that!
Calm down, Director. Please give them a chance to show you what they can do.
These bastards, making fools out of us.
All right, got it. Try it, then.
In this first scene,
you'll talk with your gang's female leader,
who's been beaten badly by your enemy.
The director prefers improvisation, so try doing a skit.
Pretend this mannequin is the main character, the gang leader.
You can also use those props.
Hold on. What a perfect scenario for us!
We can nail this! Nice work, manager!
Leave it to us!
I booked you for a movie audition next week.
They need three girls in their 20s for some minor roles.
It's a great opportunity.
So we're going to have an acting lesson today.
Seriously? We can't act.
Can we learn it in such a short time?
Indeed, acting is not an easy skill, so don't try to act.
Just get into character and talk normally.
Transform into your character. True-to-life performance is the key.
Kashira! Who did this to you?
They could chinkoro us at any moment!
We've got to take our revenge on them now!
Kashira! What are you waiting for?
Don't tell us you're freaked out!
Since when... did you become a coward like this?
What happened to the Gokudo spirit you taught me during our heyazumi?
I don't want to see you like this!
Amazing! I don't know what she's saying, but her acting is so raw and true-to-life!
Even if he's your brother, you may finish him when he strays from the Gokudo path.
That's my Gokudo philosophy!
But sometimes... we would understand even if he doesn't say anything.
To redeem the mistake he made, he would say, "Finish me."
As brothers, you should hear him if he speaks from the heart.
Kashira... is this what you want?
Hey! Get me a hajiki!
Got it!
What the hell? This is a 1951 Soviet-made, nine-millimeter, eight-round,
straight blowback Makarov pistol!
Do I look like Russian mafia? I don't need this! Bring me the dosu!
Who are these girls? Where are they from?
Hey! That's enough!
I will grant you your last wish, kashira!
Hey! That's enough! What kind of situation is this?
She... killed the main character...
They failed the audition for overshadowing the main character.
#13 I Want to Start Over
Huh?
I know it's hard to believe, but... it's me, Dad.
Huh?
Come on. It's me, Kazuhiko.
Wait a second. What is this? Is this some kind of new scam?
I have no idea how it works. What kind of scam is this?
Hey, you! I'm not old enough to fall for this stupid trick.
If you want to scam me, you should do a better impersonation than this.
At least get the gender right!
You know what? My son is a yakuza!
That's not something to say with pride!
This isn't a scam! I'll explain, so listen to me!
And then? Did he understand what happened?
It took me about three hours.
It was a struggle to convince him, even with all the documents I brought.
Well... that's good, isn't it?
Yeah, I guess. He almost collapsed, though.
At least I feel less weight on my shoulders.
My parents dumped me a long time ago, so I'm not worried.
Ryo, what are you going to do with your parents?
Well... I've been thinking about telling my parents the truth...
but my dad is not the kind of person who would embrace something like this.
If I remember correctly, your father is also a yakuza.
Yeah.
But he retired a long time ago.
Then I'm sure he would understand your situation. You'll be alright.
I told you, you can be anything but yakuza!
Look who's talking. It's not so convincing to hear it from you.
I know it because I've been there!
I want you to have a life you won't regret.
What's wrong with you, old man? This doesn't sound like you.
Are you regretting your life? That's so lame!
Yeah, I regret it! If I could, I would start my life all over again!
What do you know about my life, huh? Don't get carried away, you brat!
I don't even want to know, dammit!
-Get out of my house! -Hell, yeah, I'll get out!
Hello? Dad? It's me... Ryo.
Hey. It's been ten years, huh? How have you been doing?
So-so. Listen... I know it's sudden, but can I see you tomorrow?
There's something I need to tell you.
I see. What a coincidence.
I also have something to tell you.
What's up, old man? Don't scare me.
If I could, I would start my life all over again!
Who are you?
Take it easy, buddy. I'm sure he's struggled, too.
This mother-daughter relationship seems to need more time to be reconciled.
GOKUDOLS TRAINING CAMP ROOM #14 The Fourth Man
Dammit!
What should I do? I have no idea.
My life is over.
Huh? What's wrong? What happened to you?
Calm down and explain it to us.
Boss found out about my embezzlement!
3 HOURS BEFORE
Boss! I'm terribly sorry!
Can you forgive me just this once? I'll do anything, on my life!
Why don't you, too, become an idol?
What?
You'll join the GOKUDOLS with your brothers.
Go get a makeover in Thailand, asshole.
Boss... please give me another option. I'll do anything but that.
How about selling your organs, then? A kidney is worth 26 million yen,
your liver is worth 15 million yen, and so on.
That's a high price.
This is ridiculous. So crazy.
I will never do it. Never!
How can I be an idol? I'd rather die!
Don't screw around with a yakuza!
Hey! Is he really saying this right in front of us?
I've made up my mind.
I'll see Boss tomorrow and face the consequences as a true yakuza!
Hold on a second. What did this guy just say?
What a noble man!
Like a real samurai!
We look like total losers!
But if we let him die...
Did you hear? Takemura was told to join GOKUDOLS, but he killed himself instead.
That's so Takemura. He's the man.
On the other hand, those three idiots disgrace the yakuza.
They will ruin our reputation!
This can't happen!
Listen, Takemura. You should think more carefully.
What do you mean?
Do you really think Boss would let you die so easily?
He would take out your organs, one by one, then sell them.
I've heard he sells every body part, including the pelvis and cartilage.
Without killing you, of course.
No way.
And you know what? Being an idol...
is not that bad.
I just had to say it!
You... What did you just say?
I didn't want to admit it, but you'll understand once you become one.
No way!
In hard times, the cheering and love from fans will give you strength.
-Hey! -That's a bit too much!
What's wrong with you? Did you sell your souls?
Shut up! We're just trying to help you!
It's a lot better than being horribly killed!
Forget about stupid pride. Those days are gone!
Big bro, let's be idols... together!
Dammit! I'll do it!
3 MONTHS LATER
I'm back, Boss!
It was hard to adjust to my new self, but I finally feel like a woman!
I'll do my best to become an idol! I'm ready for the mental training!
I have confidence in myself!
You...
I forgive your embezzlement, but you're banned.
Wait a second!
What do you mean, Boss? I mean, Sensei!
Please let me become an idol!
Shut up! What kind of idol are you?
You're weird and disgusting! Get out of here!
But... what about these boobs? What about my life?
I don't give a shit about your life!
No way!
That's how Takemura ended up working in the gay district.
#15 Yakuza and Idol
You assholes.
It seems you often sneak out at night to go to convenience stores.
I'll kill you, bastards!
Is that such a bad thing to do?
Are we not allowed to go there?
What kind of idols would go to places like that?
All kinds of them would!
Idols change into their pajamas by 7 p.m.
and talk to stuffed animals until they fall asleep!
Who on earth would do that? What do you think idols are?
If you make any more trips at night, I'll beat the hell out of you!
Go cry and comfort your stuffed bears, pretending that they've lost their moms.
Besides, I've got a pretty nice job for you.
It is to "wrestle" playfully with President Hayashi of YM Electric.
In other words, sleep with him. Are you in?
Finally, here it comes! Sex work!
We knew it would come sooner or later.
You demon!
Boss... I mean, Sensei!
I don't think idols can do such a dirty job.
You're yakuza, assholes.
Who would do such dirty work besides yakuza?
He calls us yakuza only when he needs us to be!
Oh, it's already so late. We'll talk more about this later.
You have a photo shoot tomorrow morning, right?
Go to bed soon.
Don't talk to your stuffed bears for too long.
Never, ever!
Give me an explosive smile!
No, that's not what I want!
Your pose is not fantastic at all! Goddamn!
Damn you all! Can't you put more spirit into this?
Be careful with Oilshock Yamakoshi.
He's got the worst personality in the industry.
But he always gives us great results, so nobody can confront him.
It's even said that you'll be finished in this industry once he hates you.
Besides, as I'm away on business tomorrow, the President will accompany you.
Seriously?
Nonsense! You don't understand how to make your neck look sexy!
Flaunt your boobs more, too!
What the hell is wrong with him? If only the boss weren't here.
Hey, hey! Hold on. Wait.
What's that look on your face, bitch?
Nothing! I've just got something in my eyes.
I'm sorry!
If you're not up for this, go home now, bitch!
I could end your career as an idol in a second.
Please forgive me! I'll try harder!
Tell me exactly how hard you will try.
Will you try harder in bed tonight, baby?
Come on, bitch! Tell me!
No way. Please stop joking around.
Joking, you say?
Who are you smiling at, huh?
I can show you what a real nightmare this industry is.
-Bro! -This is going so wrong!
I told you not to have that look on your face, didn't I?
Damn! Bro could explode at any moment!
I sincerely apologize for my bad attitude. I'll do my very best.
Bro!
Why are you crying, huh? Are you feeling frustrated?
Don't underestimate me, bitch.
Bringing the president of a small agency doesn't scare me at all.
I can't take it anymore.
I can't watch you being treated like that, bro!
As for Boss... he just sits there as if nothing's wrong.
What can we expect him to do? He's the one pushing sex work on us.
I should just be patient.
There is no turning back now. We need to survive.
There is nobody out there to protect us.
Let's go back to work.
Hey, wait a second! What do you think you're doing?
Hey, asshole. You can't treat my precious girls rudely like that.
Boss!
If you threaten me like this, your girls will be kicked out of the industry!
You'll be kicked to death, idiot!
We knew it! He understands how we feel!
You have several options, of course:
either moving to South America with your family,
or being buried six feet under with them.
I'm not a devil, you know.
My precious toys still have so much to do!